Monday, February 1, 2010

I Will Always Love You

Dear Beautiful Boy,

I have never met anyone like you.

Your heart is pure. Your words are the kindest I've ever heard. Your laugh is simple and full of warmth. Your eyes are comforting. Your hands lace with mine so perfectly. You are charming. You are creative. You are splendid. You are fantastic. You are mine.

And I love you.

I have never felt so... accepted by anyone in the way that you make me feel accepted. And I was nervous to date you at first. Nervous that I wasn't pretty enough. Or talked enough. Or smiled enough. Or, hell, was even tall enough for you. But, you accepted my flaws. And I accepted yours. You have flaws too. Small ones, that mean nothing. Almost too small to even call flaws, but I mean, they are still there and all.

But anyways...
You accepted me. And I adored you for it. I still do.

You find me beautiful. It is wonderful to feel beautiful. I feel so comfortable around you. Comfortable enough (and my mom would probably kill me if she read this), but comfortable enough to stand in front of you butt naked and not feel as though I need to hide in my own skin.
That's the kind of beautiful that you make me feel. Granted, I don't think I am physically beautiful, but you make me feel that way. You make me feel like I'm really something. Like I'm the only one for you.

I like being some body's only.
I want you be your only forever.

I want to marry you. Like, really, I do. I want to walk to you and see you smiling, and holding back tears, and ready to start your life with me.

God made me for you. God made you for me. I can see in your eyes that you love me and I can see that you need me and I can see that you love me and I want to scream to the WORLD that you are mine and I am yours and you belong to me and that I am happy.
I am happy.
So happy.
So incredibly happy.
I want to remain happy. And I will always be happy with you in my life. In my arms. And in my heart.

I will never let you go, you beautiful boy. I will keep you in my arms forever and I will hold you tight every night. And I will sometimes even cry at night because I am just so happy that you are lying next to me. But I will make sure you never see it.
And I will give you every thing you would ever want. And I will love you with a never-ending, powerful love, given by God for us to make, and grow, and share with the world.

I love you.
I was made to love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
Never forget it.

Your Only

Monday, January 11, 2010

Ah Poetry, Come Back to my Life

I used to be such a beautiful poet.
I wish I would write more.
I wish I would read more.
I'm just too lazy.

I spend so much of my free time with my friends, which is wonderful, but at times can seem so incredibly wasteful.
Sometimes I wonder how much I could accomplish on my own. How much could I write in a day? What kind of art could I capture with my camera? with my words? with my thoughts?

I love my friends. They are what keep me sane. They love me just as much as I love them. Sometimes I feel like I take them for granted. I pray to God everyday that he will help me show my friends that I need them. I thank Him for them.

Yesterday I was thinking: what kind of person would I be if one little thing about me changed? Like where I went to high school. Would I be friends with different kinds of people? Would I have dated different kinds of boys? Would I have gotten hard into drugs or alcohol? Would I even be alive?
So many things to think about. So many things I don't want to think about.

I fully believe that I am suppose to be with the man I am with now for the rest of my life. I believe that he was made for me by God, and that I was made for him. If I didn't have the friends I had now I would have never met him. Which led me to think, when would I have found him? I know that I would have eventually, but how long would it take?

It's all too weird to think about.

All I know is that I am lucky.
I am special.
I am loved by so many.
and I need to get on track with this writing stuff.