Ah Poetry, Come Back to my Life

I used to be such a beautiful poet.
I wish I would write more.
I wish I would read more.
I'm just too lazy.

I spend so much of my free time with my friends, which is wonderful, but at times can seem so incredibly wasteful.
Sometimes I wonder how much I could accomplish on my own. How much could I write in a day? What kind of art could I capture with my camera? with my words? with my thoughts?

I love my friends. They are what keep me sane. They love me just as much as I love them. Sometimes I feel like I take them for granted. I pray to God everyday that he will help me show my friends that I need them. I thank Him for them.

Yesterday I was thinking: what kind of person would I be if one little thing about me changed? Like where I went to high school. Would I be friends with different kinds of people? Would I have dated different kinds of boys? Would I have gotten hard into drugs or alcohol? Would I even be alive?
So many things to think about. So many things I don't want to think about.

I fully believe that I am suppose to be with the man I am with now for the rest of my life. I believe that he was made for me by God, and that I was made for him. If I didn't have the friends I had now I would have never met him. Which led me to think, when would I have found him? I know that I would have eventually, but how long would it take?

It's all too weird to think about.

All I know is that I am lucky.
I am special.
I am loved by so many.
and I need to get on track with this writing stuff.